The adventure begins

Well, here I am, sat in the super duper, mini cooper, double decker, fuck off A380-800 Airbus being whisked across the skies at great speed towards my first stop, Dubai. We are just passing over Dusseldorf and I am sitting in a window seat with two free seats beside me (thank god I didn't pay the extra for Business Class) sipping a gin and tonic.
The flight is 7 hours, I have a couple of hours in Dubai before the next sector which is on to KL.


I was up early this morning to catch the train from Chesterfield to Manchester airport. Check in was hassle free as I had in my possession an 'E' Boarding card. Isn't this inter web thing a fantastic tool.

When I learned that you could check in on-line 24 hours before the flight was due to leave I was in there. Going on the brand spanking new plane is an experience and I wanted the best seat going.

My middle name is 'can't wait won't wait!, I'm that one who will touch the wet paint just to see if it really is wet. Consequently a tad before the 24 hours I was on the Emirates web site trying to check in, just in case.

'The computer says NO! The computer says NO! then, spot on the 24 hours, I was in and picked myself a prime seat ..Result! Even better was the fact that the seats beside me are vacant. I will be able to have that afternoon siesta that I have become so used to in the last few months after all.

Take off was an experience, this thing is just HUGE. As the engines kicked in at the end of the runway you would not have known. It was so quiet. As we passed the hoards of planes spotters (what is that all about then?) it did cross my mind that we were not going to leave Terra Firma but thankfully I was wrong and we soared gracefully and almost silently into the air and on our way.

I will now take advantage of the Emirates hospitality, careful not to abuse it as in did in January, I was practically poured off the plane in Dubai after I was plied with red wine (just the 6 bottles you understand). The rest of the journey was a haze....... I've decided, no wine on this flight.....

I know it's all relative and I wouldn't thank you for inviting me to dinner and serving me some of the shite that passes for inflight catering (especially the portion sizes).
That said, Emirates is, in my opinion one of the best. I actually enjoy most of the food I have had on their flights.

Today's delights were, prawn and smoked salmon cocktail, lamb curry and rice, chocolate and praline mousse, cheese and biscuits...

'would you like some wine with your meal sir?'

'yes please, I'll have a glass of Red'

I'm so fucking weak.

Now then, for the last four or five years I've flown with Emirates at least once a year, always on the way somewhere (or conversely, back from somewhere).

It always puzzled me that on the UK to Dubai or Dubai to UK sectors you always got plastic cutlery, the next sector was always metal, much more civilised.

I'm only assuming that the plastic cutlery is something to do with the fact that we could or may use them as weapons to take control of the aircraft, not that we may stab or cut ourselves.

Today on the UK to Dubai sector we have a metal fork, a metal spoon and a plastic knife.
That did make me smile.

I reckon spooning someone's eyes out and forking them in the throat is more effective than trying to saw their arms off with a blunt serrated knife. They usually won't even break the skin of a cherry tomato.

'would you like another drink sir?'

' yes, another glass of red please'

So hopelessly, hopelessly weak.....


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Location:Dubai,United Arab Emirates